WTF...Seriously!?...Shit!

So i used to hangout with these guys that either were, or still are, proffesional wakeboarders. They lived in Appleton Wisconsin on the Fox River (side note, the Fox River is fuckin' sick, its like swimming in Pea Soup). Anyways it was when i worked for friends of mine at a skate and snow shop in my hometown that we went to visit these guys to go wakeboarding of course, and to party. Wakeboarded all day and had a blowout that night at these dudes house. There was this guy that went wakeboarding with us that day that was like best friends the pro guys, but didnt live in the "Pro" house, which was a duplex, and three hot chicks lived upstairs. The chicks from upstairs came to the party for like 10 minutes to get their free cup and make sure we all knew that theyre still hot. So this guy went wakeboarding with us and proceeded to be the most drunk guy at the party, seemed to be why the pro guys kept him around. So as the party is winding down he starts spouting about how he has always had a huge crush on one of the chicks from upstairs "Michelle". "Someday man, im telling you guys, me and Michelle are gonna fuckin hook up man." Those of us that just met this guy that day just kinda rolled our eyes and said whatever. The pro guys though, would not let it go, "Yeah dude i think shes into you man, she was telling me in the kitchen how cute you are and shit." So after enough coaxing from some of the guys, dude decides hes gonna go upstiars and try his luck with Michelle. Hes gone for like 20 minutes and as i said the party was kind of winding down anyway, so me and the other guys that are down visiting decide to go to bed 'cause we hafta drive the next day. But of course the pro guys, being that they are very similar to a real life Jackass cast, are gonna go upstairs and check on this kids "progress." Heres where this story gets a little fucked up. Because those of us that were visiting, as i said, had to drive the next day and get up and thank the pro guys for a good time and take off. So now fast forward 6 months to the winter time, the pro guys plus drunk dude are gonna come up and visit us to go snowboarding, and obviously we decide we have to throw them a party like they did us down in Appleton. So after boarding all day and before the party we go t our favorite pizza joint to grab some zza and beers. We talk abou the day, and then talk about last time we went to visit. Well that dude who said "tonight is the night, me and Michelle man" tells us about the progress. "Yeah i went upstairs to try and find her, and i was so drunk i sat down on the couch in the living room and passed out." So we're thinkin' no big deal. "Yeah i passed out, and i shit my pants!" We all bust a gut, as he tells us he proceeded to take off his shitty pants and find some wind pants (obviously one of the girls) on the floor, which he wore home and never told anyone about until now. We laugh and roll our eyes and cant believe it, but the couple of pro guys cant let it go again, they obviously have another side of this story. So dudes like "What? its no big deal, she never came out." And then one of the pro guys is like "No its just funny because actually Michelle was awake trying to get you to leave when you were passed out on her couch...so Jonesy shit in a bucket, and we spooned it into your pants!" These guys had found their buddy just completely out of it, telling Michelle "its fine, ill just stay here" so they went into the kitchen, one of them took a shit in a mixing bowl and they soup ladeled it into his pants. Dude heard all this and was like "What the FUCK...Seriously!?...Shit" All defeated and stuff. Now that story does not chap my ass, but that dude probably had a chapped ass after all that...so it works for this blog.